We started purchasing products from Amazon.de pretty much immediately after we moved here. Amazon was all we knew – we had used the US site faithfully for several years before we moved and it was our go-to for just about everything. We’ve since learned how to shop in Schweinfurt and and use online sites other than Amazon, but there are times when it’s still our best option. Thankfully they have an English version so we can search for items and see the product descriptions pretty easily, but the reviews are still in German. Of course we have to read the reviews when we buy something so we use good ole Google Chrome’s automatic translation feature. We often end up laughing as we browse through different productions, and here’s a collection of some of the funniest mistranslations.
From our third blender (we broke the first two).
A customer who had trouble with it rotating:
“The mix-pitcher you have while working to hold, he has no way to snapping. A child does not exist.”
Someone who was unhappy with the noise:
“Who wants to be beautiful must suffer. Is an old saying. So even with kitchen appliances. The thing is in my ears just too loud. Who says A but must also say B.”
A computer mouse purchase (I broke mine – we seem to have a habit of breaking stuff).
A customer whose child enjoyed using the mouse:
“The mouse itself is using my son, who is thrilled. She is very quiet and great finds…”
A makeup bag.
Someone happy with the size of it:
“…the ground is wider and it fits in my purse.”
A cable.
A description of the material:
“Rather slightly roughened as slippery Gummy.”
Our second blender.
“Then I will know if I as a blender insets frequently or only occasionally, because I also like to chew times, it will not be my staple food, but great compliments.”
A knife sharpener.
“Performing only very slight pressure! Otherwise the sharpener eats in the first best saddle.”
Hmmm. The sharpener hasn’t eaten any of our knives, yet.
Our chef’s knife.
“Ultimately, do not require close indeed his Teflon pan in the machine.”
…I don’t know, but it kind of sounds like a song lyric, yeah?
This guy said the blade was so easy to use that the onion couldn’t make him cry:
“That goes so fast and smooth, because the onion do not notice that they must burn.”
A pair of leggings.
“I find it impossible, if the federal government almost too high to the first rib…”
Unsquashable Squash Racket – just the name of this product made me laugh for days.
I’m really not sure where the guy was going with this one:
“…while the racket falls also like to go or “kissing” the wall and still is nothing to see at bat.”
Kraft Mac & Cheese.
Photo by Mike licensed under CC BY 2.0.
These reviews were especially interesting to read because half of them were from Germans saying that this was utter junk food and the other half were Americans living in Germany saying that it is meant to be utter junk food.
Several people also said it brought back memories from their childhood, which is funny because the box says “imported from your childhood”. It’s never been truer – the stuff was literally imported.
From a guy that received nearly expired product:
“Have you already eaten what and which are as good as I know it, but he never thought that I get so old.”
My hair gel.
From some customers that were dissatisfied with it:
“For me it has been done and is half full wandered despite the high price the same in the trash.”
“I do not buy me!”
A can of pumpkin pie filling.
From someone who was not impressed:
“Libby’s pumpkin pie filling – excellent, especially if you have dogs and they get dire rear.”
What a lovely review to end on.
15 hilarious German to English translations. Click To TweetPin this:
Photo by Robyn licensed under CC BY 2.0.
Above version modified by My Meena Life.
Featured photo by antjeverena licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.
"Unsquashable Squash Racket – just the name of this product.." Actually made me laugh also. Direct translation is very funny and if you go to China mainland, the signboard for tourist is funny also. Talking about Google translation, sometime Google search also really hard to differentiate keyword related term between squash balls or the 'squash balls' (which is fruit, or the recipe with the onion and salt taste).
great idea to publish those. They are realy funny.
In some cases I cant even tell, what's meant 😀
Haha thanks, Eardy. I struggled to understand some of them, too!